Doing Time

If That’s the Word for It

By Steve Carr

I learned another new word! Such an event is usually accompanied with a sense of contented accomplishment. This time, my increased vocabulary served only to temper the painful experience that accompanied the occasion.

My new word will not be new to many of you. “A lump in yarn, either accidental or contrived,” I’m told by my educated wife, “is a ‘slub.’”

Okay, so what if I came upon this newfound knowledge while doing time in a—I’ll just say it—a fabric store. I know, and I’m sorry if I’ve let you down, but it’s true. And as long as I’m coming clean, it wasn’t my first encounter with such an institution. As penance for selfish actions, I’ve served time in fabric stores on three other occasions. After each sentence I was sure I had learned my lesson. But knowledge fogs with time and lessons must be relearned. I’m a recidivist.

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