Killer GPS

A Conspiracy Theory

Story and Photos by G.T. Rees

I think my Global Positioning System is trying to kill me. I’ve noticed a troubling trend over the last few years in the electronic doohickey I carry around to keep from getting lost.

It seems every trip into the mountains has become a rigged game of roulette with my electronic gadget, which tries to strand me by delivering faulty information.

Take the time I went hunting in the Coeur d’Alene Mountains, and on the way back missed my truck by no more than a hundred yards. The screen showed right where my truck was, but that tiny shot didn’t match up with the terrain, and I quickly wandered off course. As a result, I spent an entire day slogging through a foot of new snow, running out of water, and puking my guts out in the shower from dehydration when I finally did get home. Before you think, What an idiot, why didn’t he just eat some snow? I did. It doesn’t provide enough water when you’re really hoofing it, hence the puking in the shower. This entire misadventure could have been avoided if I hadn’t relied on my GPS for directions.

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G.T. Rees

About G.T. Rees

G.T. Rees considers himself very lucky to live in northern Idaho with his wife and two children, where he’ll never run out of wild places to explore. Since his earliest memory, he has been captivated by the outdoors and everything wild, and he hopes to convey that joy to others through his humorous outdoor adventure stories. His work has been published in numerous magazines. Find out more at: authorgtrees.com.